In Coffee Spoons

I'm ready to shoot myself in the gorram face over this astronomy class. The teacher has been bullshitting around so long that the test we were supposed to take on October 1st is going to be our final. He's ~*making it up to us*~ by making it a hard, but open-note test. Unfortunately, he's given us so many useless junk statistics that I have sixty-two fucking pages of notes with more to come. A lack of forethought on his part should NOT constitute an emergency on mine.

If anyone could offer suggestions on what to do, it'd be greatly appreciated. Otherwise, just cunting kill me and get it over with.

On a lighter note, Zeiss and I are working on another joint snark. Whoop de shit.

ETA: Actually, this song cheered me up considerably. Thank you Ashley and Winamp shuffle. Tips would still be appreciated, though.

( How to Seduce a Demon 2/3 )

( How to Seduce a Demon )

Snark 5/5 of this update, check previous posts for more!

Zeiss and I were neck-and-neck in the Snark-a-Thon, so I suggested that we do the gentlemanly thing and cross the finish line together with a joint snark. He agreed, and suggested that there was only one way to do it...

"Drink my magical sperm and you will go back in time": Zeiss and Del take down Anal Fantasy in the big Snark-a-Thon finale

Yes, the classic has finally received proper snark treatment. You will note I did not put down a NWS tag, because anyone stupid enough to click on a topic with the phrase "Anal Fantasy" on it at work deserves to be fired. Come for the snark, stay for Rabid Badger's shocking revelation!


And so, the Snark-a-Thon draws to a close. In the future: More mutual snark of Inky's fanfiction, a snark produced through a lost bet, and another half-assed MiSTing. Stay tuned!

Snark 4/5 of this update, check next posts for more!


( In which Del makes an abortion joke ON PURPOSE )

Like I mentioned, I was going through my files today. After posting the Calvin and Hobbes snark, I was flabbergasted to find a pair of fully-MiSTed fics from when I was actually a competent teenager, instead of a fangirlish tweenie. I have little to no memory of doing either of them, and I know I've never posted them anywhere before, despite being a member of GAFF at the time. It seems a shame to let them go to waste, so I formatted the shorter one for use here, stopping to add a Twilight joke along the way because it was begging for it. If it proves amusing, I'll do the other. If not...well, life is just a bag of cocks, isn't it?

My MiSTies are all OCs, which is obnoxious, I know. However, they can all be summed up in two words each for the purposes of this snark, so it shouldn't be that bad. Here's the rundown:

Sadie: A girlcat
Aster: A cyborg
Will: A zombie
Clive: A pervert

...and even that's more than you need to know, really.

Enjoy, kids, and tell me if I'm being utterly presumptuous and should STFU GTFO and DIAF, in that order.


Snark 3/5 of this update, check other posts for more!


( She Never Was )

Snark 2/5 of this update, check other posts for more!

( Redemption: In Which Calvin Has a Mental Breakdown or...Something )

With a mighty push, Del pounds down the homestretch of the Snark-a-Thon. Can she make it?

Snark 1/5 of this update, check next posts for more!

Drugs Are Like That: Zeiss and Del Team Up on a Chick Tract (WS for a Change)