In Coffee Spoons

The Bunny Rabbit Who Went Up A Hill And Came Down Laden With Bleak Despair

by Megan

Once upon a time there was a bunny.

He didn't do anything, because ultimately all our actions are meaningless.

The end.

...had an unfortunate adventure. Consequently, so did Erin.

Erin has been having quite the streak of good luck with her disturbing cartoon collection recently, and one of her YouTube finds was Felidae.

It's a murder mystery involving animal experimentation, freaky science, and religious cults. I've found it invariably compared to Watership Down; because it's told from an animal POV, and because a book was turned into a horrific animated nightmare never intended for children and inevitably shown to them anyway. (Given the experimentation angle, I'd call Plague Dogs a better comparison.) It's not great, it's got flaws, but it's original enough and scary enough to be more than worth your time.

So this left us all looking for the book. Apparently Erin's streak of good luck passed on to me, because I found it quite by accident in the library. Gulped it down in one sitting last night.

The verdict: Not so good.

It does, of course, flesh out certain characters and scenes much better than a movie can. Especially the professor and his deterioration, which is told in a chapter of journal entries. It's wonderful and much more convincing.

The surreal dream scenes are just as horrifying as in the movie. There's even an additional one involving endlessly murdered kittens.

But for the most part, this was just painful to read. It's poorly written. Very, very poorly. Ham-fisted and overeager.

It's like he's very self-consciously adding "I AM A WRITER, LOOK AT ME WRITE" elements. Long, ridiculous analogies and purple-prosed similes. Equally purple, cliche descriptions of setting and character. Long emphatic tirades on human nature with no basis whatsoever in believable dialogue.

When he drops his self-conscious writing "act" and actually just *writes*, it's not bad. The dream sequences, as I've said, are great. There are quite a few scenes towards the end where he cuts the crap and goes into clear, captivating storytelling mode with very suspenseful results.

It's just a pity that he takes an entire book to hit that stride.

(P.S. nitpick: There are also too many moments in which one character finds himself expositioning to another. In CSI, it is ludicrous that a lab tech needs to explain to another lab tech how he used his lab technology. In Felidae, it is ludicrous that a cat needs to explain to another cat how he used his cat senses.)

(P.P.S. There's apparently a sequel.)

"He's the Rasputin of dogs."

Live animals brought into the house in the past few weeks:

1 snake (Caught by Charlotte, released by yours truly)

1 bird (Caught by Malingo, released by Erin)

1 mouse (Caught by Sweeney, escaped into house, CURRENT WHEREABOUTS UNKNOWN)

0 bunny rabbits (Thank Christ)

The live bird was the biggest surprise. Malingo is a rabid manic ruthless bird-hunter, and we've gotten used to finding piles of feathers in the food dish on a daily basis. (He drops them in the damn food dish, like he's trying to be polite.)

So when he pranced in growling and holding a bird in his jaws, we went to toss him and his treat outside.

Mom: Hang on-- I've almost got it away from him-- there.

Me: Hey, it's flying!

Mom: What did you say? Help me get him outside before he picks it up again.

Me: I said he's not going to get it again, because it's flying.

I guess Malingo wanted some indoor playtime, because it was totally unhurt. Mom held Malingo while Erin caught and freed the bird, which she says very soft. I want to hold a very soft bird.

Maybe Malingo will bring me one.