In Coffee Spoons

dissolute19: *fixes you a gin & aspirin cocktail*
dissolute19: Oooh, I am naming my new cocktail the Blood Thinner Bullet Train.

[11:46] dissolute19: And he has a parakeet. That is fantastic.
[11:46] dissolute19: I don't know why a golem with a parakeet is utterly fantastic, but there you go.

[11:50] dissolute19: Hey, you're not technically Jewish either. You're ground.

[00:04] dissolute19: War gives you ouchies!
[00:05] dissolute19: (This kind of eloquence is why I never ran for political office.)

[22:00] Seiran79: I can tell you just got out of the theatre cause you spelled potato with an e.

seiran_o19o: I think every Craigslist ad title should end in "+herpes".

[17:32] dissolute19: Geeking because Disney's doing a steampunk dystopia game.
[17:32] dissolute19: I say as if there were a lot of steampunk utopias.

[14:19] Seiran79: I need to either double-dose my allergy medication or commit suicide.
[14:19] Seiran79: It's a serious toss-up at this point.

[14:26] Seiran79: The base components of real babies do not randomly rearrange themselves into abstract patterns.
[14:26] Seiran79: If they did, I would have one next to my lava lamp.

[01:19] Seiran79: THUMBS-UP
[01:19] Seiran79: NO ASTERISKS
[01:19] Seiran79: I AM STATING THUMBS-UP VERBALLY AS A FACT.

[21:05] Seiran79: Ashley, your kidneys work!

[00:20] Seiran79: Dude, you're so upset you just used the word arounded.

[20:49] Seiran79: If he spent a night with you without sex, he really likes you too.
[20:49] Seiran79: Either that or I have a very skewed and cycnical view of men.

[17:46] Seiran79: Because, in my experience, the best way to deal with deeply painful events is for other people to make fun of them on the internet.

[00:32] Seiran79: Everyone's job should have a bloopers reel.
[00:32] Seiran79: Not just actors and the LAPD.

[18:07] Seiran79: Hey what's that theme song that goes like DUN da duh DUH duh da dun DUN da duh DUH duh da dun oh yeah Torchwood. Thanks!

[23:09] dissolute19: Well. My motto is "Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke." And, as always, it fails to apply here.
[23:09] dissolute19: But I stand by it.

[16:00] dissolute19: German either sounds hilarious or guh-sexy. There is no in between.
[16:02] dissolute19: (I'm classifying "scary-angry" under "guh-sexy", cause I have Issues.)

[14:00] dissolute19: I think it would be more like gargling mayonnaise.
[14:00] dissolute19: Not fresh mayonnaise.

[00:28] dissolute19: Well, if you're gonna screw up your knee, you do want a titty bar to be involved.

[00:16] dissolute19: I promise to be very appreciative if you ever flash me.
[00:16] dissolute19: Particularly given the effort involved with finding, traveling to, and breaking into my house.

[14:47] dissolute19: The whimpering at the end is particularly nice.
[14:47] dissolute19: These are the kind of sentences that are going to be used against me in court someday.

[00:04] Seiran79: Dude, my tits are VERY high-res.

[18:41] dissolute19: I love how you just take my gorgeous hair on faith.

[23:38] dissolute19: We are of one mind. One koala mind.

[16:28] dissolute19: Aw, I wouldn't bleed on them. They're pretty.

[16:20] dissolute19: Fun fact: Promises made with somebody's hand slowing down on your dick are 1000% less useful than promises made in ordinary circumstances.

[02:49] dissolute19: That is why you always try to drink enough on Saturday night to still be a *little* tipsy on Sunday morning. As a protective barrier against Ian McShane.

[22:49] bigorangeperson: i am saving some of this gin that i am drinking for when i come over
[22:49] Seiran79: Is it good gin?
[22:49] bigorangeperson: no
[22:49] Seiran79: Fair enough.

[02:36] palina27: would you call him a sociopath? i'm not sure...
[02:37] Seiran79: No, because he is a cat.

[02:45] palina27: i don't want to do heroin!
[02:46] Seiran79: Yeah, that wasn't my best advice ever.

[15:33] Seiran79: I can't paint by holding a brush in my teeth OR using my arm.
[15:33] palina27: yes you can.
[15:34] palina27: i saw you paint a door.

[22:16] literatehyaena: ...why are you scat singing?
[22:16] Seiran79: That is a rhetorical question even when it is not intended as one.

There are a lot of people coming to Christian Bale's defense regarding his on-set rant, and I agree with them completely. There's a lot of talk regarding the pressures of acting and method acting in particular, the power of an emotional scene, the amount that he actually said versus the amount that his character said, etc. Pretty much every theatre person I've talked to has agreed that the DP was at fault.

But no one seems to be touching on the most important reason why this rant is defensible:

It was hot as all hell. Holy fuck. Hot as hell.


[01:46] Seiran79: I don't think I would mind being assaulted by Christian Bale. I mean, assuming he didn't go for my throat.
[01:47] Shinaichica: Assuming he didn't go for the throat I would imagine it would be somewhat pleasurable.
[01:48] Seiran79: It's so nice when my friends agree with me instead of suggesting I seek professional help.

[01:26] Shinaichica: I'm freezing my ass off
[01:27] Seiran79: Shut the window.
[01:27] Shinaichica: It is shut. I even turned off the humidifier
[01:27] Seiran79: Turn off your...face.
[01:28] Shinaichica: YOU TURN OFF YOUR FACE
[01:29] Seiran79: THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID
[01:29] Seiran79: WAIT
[01:29] Seiran79: NO

Seiran: Oh, what would I give to be wrong about human nature.
Seiran: I think that was the title of my thesis.
ccchuck: i only wore panrties casue they made me
Seiran: No, wait, *that* was the title of my thesis.


Llwyd: fuck YOU all
Llwyd: fuckers
Seiran: Lwyd, I think we should talk about your issues. Let's form a circle. Feel free to cry.
Llwyd: seiran, i will slap you to death with my moobs
Seiran: That is the best threat I have ever received.


jayegoodman@verizon.net: whats up
Seiran: My meds quit working and David Lynch says I'm a dream! How are you?


findingxhope: smart is fucking great.
seiran_o19o: It is.
findingxhope: it is, sometimes, our only isle of solace
findingxhope: in a sea of mediocrity, cruelty, and other humans.
seiran_o19o: This is what teaching will do to you.

Parents say kid's thong is just plain wrong

[18:36] BigOrangePerson: i wonder if this store is just a pretentious front to catch pedophiles?
[18:37] Seiran79: They market to teenagers too much. Last thing you want is a pubescent pair of tits harshing your pedo-buzz.
[18:37] Seiran79: That sentence is going to be used against me in a court of law.

P.S. Kiddie thongs! Unethical? Adorable? You, the viewer, decide.

[15:13] seiran: I totally could not play that game at all. I have all the stealth and finesse of a brick thrown by a drunken soccer hooligan. (Regarding MGS)

-----

[12:31] sunilprince0090: hi
[12:31] *** Auto-response sent to sunilprince0090: BLARGH I AM DEAD
[12:31] sunilprince0090: how are you
[12:31] sunilprince0090: ok
[12:31] sunilprince0090: so?

-----

seiran_o19o: I asked him if he ever actually tried to pleasure a woman with that pixy stick, and he quit talking to me.
thedirge42: Nice.
seiran_o19o: But it was a serious question!

-----

[06:43] incite_the_senses: You must really like men who are into Duran Duran.
[06:44] seiran_o19o: Or maybe I consider them some kind of sociological curiosity.
[06:44] incite_the_senses: Or...you really like them.
[06:45] seiran_o19o: I think I'll maintain an air of mystery regarding this. Because it's really the only thing terribly mysterious.

-----

[15:26] anniewuffles: Your verb modification makes the pain even more real
[15:26] seiran_o19o: That is so often my cross to bear.

-----

[23:19] Seiran79: I think it's interesting from a sociological standpoint to see a culture whose sexuality is rooted entirely in fictional expressions and not real people.
[23:19] Seiran79: I should get a research grant.
[23:19] delcat42: real people are ICKY.
[23:20] Seiran79: ...I should get a research grant.

-----

[22:00] Seiran79: I don't think you can be sued for any crimes taking place on rollerskates. I think it's a whimsy clause.

[03:23] J I M M Y: no,,iam trying to open any subject of discussion with you,,
[03:23] J I M M Y: i wount hide it i do like talking about sex
[03:24] seiran: There's talking about it and there's trolling for it.
[03:26] J I M M Y: teache me,,
[03:26] J I M M Y: iam not kidding,,
[03:26] seiran: If you never learned appropriate social boundaries, that's your own problem.
[03:27] J I M M Y: some people are ok with how i talk,,and seam to be even more than this
[03:27] seiran: I'm sure they are. If you never learned that the internet is not an appropriate place to learn social boundaries, that's your own problem.
[03:28] J I M M Y: :(

Human: Hello, Dante.

Dante: Fix the grapefruits are multiplying and I am not a very cool at all, my dear friend, named after a while. However, psychologists have found that attractive people tend to be a poor moon, especially if it was a well known classical pianist.

Human: Well, you're still broken.

Dante: well, yeah.

Human: Repeat after me: "The rain in Spain stays mainly on the plain."

Dante: The rain in Spain stays mainly on the edge of the fittest and such?

Human: Nearly! "The rain in Spain stays mainly on the plain."

Dante: "The rain in Spain stays mainly on the wind, As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door.

Human: So you are literate. You're just raving mad. A Poe fan indeed.

Dante: Ok fuckface, clam up

Human: Fair enough.

Dante: fair maiden!

Human: Bipolar as well.

Dante: Alas, poor Yorick. I knew him well.

Human: I can't believe you can quote all these authors and not sing a damn musical. Come on, now.

Dante: There is plenty of truth to that statement.

Human: No, come on. The RAIN in SPAIN stays MAINly on the PLAIN.

Dante: "The rain in Spain stays mainly on the plain."

Human: By Jove, I think he's got it!

Dante: beethoven is shit! music just waffles

Human: Or not.

[17:11] HaletoMetallica: My lord Steve you still exist!!
[17:11] Seiran79: Your Lord Steve demands sacrifice!
[17:12] HaletoMetallica: Do you demand a shrubbry?
[17:12] HaletoMetallica: How've you been? I haven't heard from you in a long ass time.
[17:12] Seiran79: I've been busy. You know, being Steve.
[17:13] HaletoMetallica: Being awesome more like it.
[17:13] Seiran79: Hells yes.
[17:13] HaletoMetallica: What are you doing now?
[17:14] Seiran79: Just hanging out.
[17:15] HaletoMetallica: Not working or going to college?
[17:15] Seiran79: I thought you meant like NOW now. Like tonight.
[17:16] HaletoMetallica: Ha, I'll start screaming we should hang out later, now is catch up time.
[17:16] Seiran79: You first, man.
[17:16] HaletoMetallica: I got married about a year ago. You'll never guess who.
[17:16] Seiran79: Oh shit, who?
[17:16] HaletoMetallica: RJ Baginski.
[17:17] Seiran79: The fuck you did.
[17:17] HaletoMetallica: No we did. No lie. We were dating for like 3 years before we got married.
[17:18] Seiran79: No shit? Howd you end up together?
[17:19] HaletoMetallica: We had art class together, so I had the hots for him anyways. But then right before I moved out of state we were talking.
[17:19] Seiran79: You know what's funny?
[17:19] Seiran79: I shouldn't tell you this.
[17:19] Seiran79: ...
[17:19] HaletoMetallica: Why not?
[17:20] Seiran79: I totally hooked up with him one time.
[17:20] HaletoMetallica: Really?
[17:20] Seiran79: Yeah, it was just like once.
[17:21] HaletoMetallica: RJ's not into that.
[17:21] Seiran79: Well, it wasn't gay or anything, it was just like J/O. That's just friends, you know.
[17:22] HaletoMetallica: You'll have to forgive my skeptisism in this matter. But I'm not going to call you a liar either.
[17:22] Seiran79: No, I understand, it's gotta be weird to hear.
[17:23] Seiran79: Anyway we were both pretty drunk.
[17:23] HaletoMetallica: Weird he told me he never drank before we met.
[17:23] Seiran79: Really? Ha ha...I could tell you some stories.
[17:24] Seiran79: Ask him sometime about the goose at the airport. That was classic. With the tube and all.
[17:24] HaletoMetallica: Ok, now you're just making shit up.
[17:24] HaletoMetallica: :-P
[17:24] Seiran79: Well, I kind of have to, since I have no idea who RJ Baginski is.
[17:25] HaletoMetallica: This is Steve Rodge right?
[17:25] Seiran79: This is Megan Denley. I've never heard of Steve Rodge, either.
[17:26] HaletoMetallica: Ah, that would explain the confusion.
[17:26] HaletoMetallica: Well Hi Megan my name is Rachel.
[17:26] Seiran79: Nice to meet you, Rachel! My name is not Steve.
[17:27] HaletoMetallica: I apologize for that, I could have sworn this was steve's screen name. I have no idea how I got yours instead.
[17:28] HaletoMetallica: And I have NO idea who you are.
[17:28] Seiran79: Well, you tell RJ that I'm sorry I made him out to be a drunken homosexual. I hope you find Steve!
[17:29] HaletoMetallica: Have a good one.
[17:29] Seiran79: You, too.

That has got to be the most amicable end to a prank that I have ever encountered.

nycman104: hello
nycman104: how are you?
seiran_o19o: I'm all right.
nycman104: thats good
nycman104: my anteater will defeat you
nycman104: darn waht are they called
nycman104: dr who
nycman104: why cant i remmeber
seiran_o19o: Daleks?
nycman104: yesss
seiran_o19o: O...kay.
nycman104: well
nycman104: just was saying

P.S. Bonus points if you remember this song -->

[20:56] Seiran79: Who wants a very special mail-order bride? http://www.frantana.ru/
[20:58] Shinaichica: ......oh wow
[20:58] Seiran79: "No few fingers on her arms and foots."
"she, herself, can surely be a real decoration and ornament in family life."
[20:59] Seiran79: This is amazing. In that my-faith-in-humanity-is-dead kind of way.
[20:59] Shinaichica: hahahahaha
[21:00] Shinaichica: Bryan said he is interested if she has red hair. I told him that she couldn't really fight back or run away so we could probably dye her hair
[21:00] Seiran79: Ashley, for your birthday I am getting you Tatiana, the spunky ex-stripper with a peg leg.
[21:00] Shinaichica: Sweet
[21:01] Seiran79: A lot of these say the women were in accidents. I wonder if they really just found out the mail order job has a horrible catch involved.
[21:02] Shinaichica: Yikes
[21:02] Seiran79: Once you're at the "buy a cripple" site, Ashley, some cynicism is natural.

[21:14] seiran: You just know Frantana has led an interesting life. You have to, to end up running this kind of business.
[21:16] They didn't have you, where I come from: Wow. I hope Frantana has had some sort of hallucinatory ritual in her(?) past. Y'know, go out into the wilderness, don't eat for four days, hear the voice of The Great Slippery Owl God.
[21:17] seiran: I think you're giving her too much credit for coming up with this as its own idea and not the natural festering spawn of a horrific childhood.