In Coffee Spoons

Holly came over for a couple of days. It is really ridiculous how close we live to each other versus how often we see each other.

We drank a good amount of gin and a good amount of pomegranate vodka and did a couple cement mixers. This makes the second time I have voluntarily done a cement mixer, and I believe the third time for Holly. We are unique and stupid snowflakes.

We watched Repo! and Newsies. Holly hadn't seen Newsies before, but had the appropriate reaction: "My god, those two are totally in love with each other. How did Disney get away with this?"

Aaaand we had ourselves a little art project. We've both been mediating between friends lately, and dealing with passive-aggressive people. Thus did we hit on two important points:

1. One of the reasons we are friends is because we're both okay saying and/or hearing "You're being fucking ridiculous, and you need to cut this shit out."

2. If we ever do end up fighting, we need to be properly prepared to deal with it.

And that is how we ended up spending an afternoon making anger management sock puppets.





( crafternoon. )

And a good time was had by all. Except the puppets.

Me: Question one. The percutaneous transluminal--

Christian Bale: WALKING AROUND LIKE AH DAT DA DA DA DA

Me: Shhh, Mr. Bale, I'm taking a test. The percutaneous translu--

Christian Bale: OOOOOH GOOOOOOOD

Me: Not now, Mr. Bale! I am taking a test!

Christian Bale: DO YOU WANT ME TO GO TRASH YOUR FUCKING LIGHTS?

Me: Shut up!

Christian Bale: SHUT UP FOR A FUCKING SECOND ALREADY!

Me: CHRISTIAN BALE YOU STOP THIS RIGHT NOW I AM TAKING A FUCKING TEST.

Christian Bale: ...

Me: ...

Christian Bale: ...

Me: The percutaneous trans--

Christian Bale: SANTA FEEEEEEEEEEE

Me: *headdesk*



P.S. Passed the test.

There are a lot of people coming to Christian Bale's defense regarding his on-set rant, and I agree with them completely. There's a lot of talk regarding the pressures of acting and method acting in particular, the power of an emotional scene, the amount that he actually said versus the amount that his character said, etc. Pretty much every theatre person I've talked to has agreed that the DP was at fault.

But no one seems to be touching on the most important reason why this rant is defensible:

It was hot as all hell. Holy fuck. Hot as hell.


[01:46] Seiran79: I don't think I would mind being assaulted by Christian Bale. I mean, assuming he didn't go for my throat.
[01:47] Shinaichica: Assuming he didn't go for the throat I would imagine it would be somewhat pleasurable.
[01:48] Seiran79: It's so nice when my friends agree with me instead of suggesting I seek professional help.

1. Explore my personal philosophy.

2. Learn more about philosophy.

3. Never stop learning.

4. Get my certification as a medical clerk.

5. Have an excellent semester.

6. Become a better writer.

7. Write every day.

8. Write ten poems.

9. Post 43 of my favourite poems.

10. Own a bookstore.

11. Read 100 books.

12. Read more classics.

13. Be more creative.

14. Learn how to draw.

15. Learn how to paint.

16. Make a collage.

17. Post 43 of my favourite works of art.

18. Learn more about art history.

19. Learn more about music.

20. Listen to more classical music.

21. Post 43 of my favourite song lyrics.

22. Make a short film.

23. Make an indie horror film.

24. Watch more art films.

25. Watch more foreign films.

26. Learn French.

27. Learn Welsh.

28. Learn Japanese.

29. Travel the world.

30. Become a fabulous cook.

31. Try new recipes.

32. Explore new flavours of tea.

33. Lose 55 pounds.

34. Eat healthier.

35. Eat more fruits and vegetables.

36. Exercise daily.

37. Do my yoga and meditation every day.

38. Stop pulling my hair.

39. Stop picking my skin.

40. Cleanse my face every morning and night.

41. Be unapologetically listy.

42. List 43 men I wouldn't kick outta bed.

43. List 43 women I wouldn't kick outta bed.

@ 43things.com

DISAPPROVAL. VETO. OBJECTION.

NON. NEIN. NYET.

In order to stop my eye's continous twitching, I have decided that the leaked photo is just an incredibly unlucky one, and that other photos will show a more Remy-looking Remy. This actor pic is better and gives me some hope.

Well, I wouldn't have been happy with anyone they picked, really. I mean, it's fucking Gambit.

P.S. Why is he in Origins anyway?

"Get outta here, bub, this is my backstory. It's 1908, you ain't even born yet."

"Non! Gambit already sit out three movies waitin' for cher Rogue to turn legal!"

...yeah, that makes sense.

1. Grab the nearest book.
2. Open the book to page 56.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the next seven sentences in your journal along with these instructions.
5. Don't dig for your favorite book, the cool book, or the intellectual one: pick the CLOSEST.

He lifted the host in consecration with an aching remembrance of the joy it once gave him; felt once again, as he did each morning, the pang of an unexpected glimpse from afar and unnoticed of a long-lost love.

He broke the Host above the chalice.

"Peace I leave you. My peace I give you..."

He tucked the Host inside his mouth and swallowed the papery taste of despair.

When the Mass was over, he polished the chalice and carefully placed it in his bag. He rushed for the seven-ten train to Washington, carrying pain in a black valise.

--The Exorcist, William Peter Blatty

(This book is seriously terrible. Go movie go.)

I just tried several times to write about what a great time I had at home last week, but was unable to form anything terribly coherent due to a lack of sleep, tea, and foodstuffs. Will remedy that later.

In the meantime, here is the important point of the entry I was trying to write:

GO SEE WALL-E.

So the plan *was* to watch La Orfanata, then go to bed.

Now it seems the plan is *actually* to watch La Orfanata, then turn on all the lights in my apartment and make a pot of coffee so I can wait for the sun to come up.

"You have to understand that rightly or wrongly, I consider myself an artist and I consider the work that we do art. In helping to tell stories by creating these characters. I came out as an actor. I am not a technician. I am a techno-ignorant, but I love creating characters and telling wonderful stories."


Stan Winston
April 17, 1946 - June 15, 2008

Magical backtracking in time: I had a great birthday. Thank you and <3 <3 <3 to everyone who sent me greetings, even Dap who sent me this what the fuck thank you but what the fuck.

Erin and Mom came for cake (yay) and presents (yay) and Thai food (yay) and shopping (yay).

World's cutest birthday cake.

Kitcheny goodness from my family. Along with a bunch of groceries. So set to cook now. Lot of new recipes I've been wanting to try.

Erin wrangled me a really great DS emulator and downloaded me a bunch of ROMs. I'm failing hardcore at the DS version of Cooking Mama because it requires the mic. Don't stare at me with those flaming fire eyes, Mama! I'm trying my best!

Erin stayed over for a long weekend, which was also great. We watched a ton of movies. A ton. Good movies. Bad movies. Hilariously bad movies. Eraserhead freaked her out more than I was epxecting, but I consider that fair trade for the shit like Felidae and Skywhales that she keeps bringing when she visits.

I just realized how often my celebrations are a blend of cute, fun, and horrific. Awesome.

Erin has been having quite the streak of good luck with her disturbing cartoon collection recently, and one of her YouTube finds was Felidae.

It's a murder mystery involving animal experimentation, freaky science, and religious cults. I've found it invariably compared to Watership Down; because it's told from an animal POV, and because a book was turned into a horrific animated nightmare never intended for children and inevitably shown to them anyway. (Given the experimentation angle, I'd call Plague Dogs a better comparison.) It's not great, it's got flaws, but it's original enough and scary enough to be more than worth your time.

So this left us all looking for the book. Apparently Erin's streak of good luck passed on to me, because I found it quite by accident in the library. Gulped it down in one sitting last night.

The verdict: Not so good.

It does, of course, flesh out certain characters and scenes much better than a movie can. Especially the professor and his deterioration, which is told in a chapter of journal entries. It's wonderful and much more convincing.

The surreal dream scenes are just as horrifying as in the movie. There's even an additional one involving endlessly murdered kittens.

But for the most part, this was just painful to read. It's poorly written. Very, very poorly. Ham-fisted and overeager.

It's like he's very self-consciously adding "I AM A WRITER, LOOK AT ME WRITE" elements. Long, ridiculous analogies and purple-prosed similes. Equally purple, cliche descriptions of setting and character. Long emphatic tirades on human nature with no basis whatsoever in believable dialogue.

When he drops his self-conscious writing "act" and actually just *writes*, it's not bad. The dream sequences, as I've said, are great. There are quite a few scenes towards the end where he cuts the crap and goes into clear, captivating storytelling mode with very suspenseful results.

It's just a pity that he takes an entire book to hit that stride.

(P.S. nitpick: There are also too many moments in which one character finds himself expositioning to another. In CSI, it is ludicrous that a lab tech needs to explain to another lab tech how he used his lab technology. In Felidae, it is ludicrous that a cat needs to explain to another cat how he used his cat senses.)

(P.P.S. There's apparently a sequel.)

Okay, I expected liberties to be taken with Prince Caspian. I did. It's one of the shortest books in the series, and fairly weak on its own.

But...

Good idea: Expand the existing plot, using the substantial chapters of backstory provided in the beginning and a better overview of the significant changes that have taken place in the last centuries.

Bad idea: Ignore the chance to develop backstory and, in fact, cut quite a bit of it out in favor of battle scenes copied from the first movie.

Worse idea: Ignore the chance to develop backstory and, in fact, cut quite a bit of it out in favor of battle scenes copied from the first movie. THEN completely make up a ridiculous romantic pairing.

Worst idea: Ignore the chance to develop backstory and, in fact, cut quite a bit of it out in favor of battle scenes copied from the first movie. THEN completely make up a ridiculous romantic pairing. THEN completely make up a contrived story midway through that screws up the religious content, completely goes against both the character's motivations/personalities *and* their relationships in the book, and adds weird, negative dimensions to the entire damn thing. But will allow you to add MORE battle scenes!

@$!@^!#^!#$@#@#!&%&()&(*)^%!#$@$!@$WTFJesusballs. Seriously.

Also, way to undermine this series' improved portrayal of women.

In the first movie, I was pleased to see lines like "Battles are ugly when women fight" cut/changed, and Susan actually involved in the battles and fighting well.

In the second movie, I was considerably less pleased to see an extra scene written in with Susan falling over like a horror movie bimbo and requiring rescue from the dashing prince. (Did I mention that this relationship is ridiculous?)

Yes, a series already controversial for sexist content really needs some sweepin'-off-the-feet added. Bravo.

So I'm looking forward to Dawn Treader and dreading Last Battle.

Dawn Treader is my favorite, and a much more adaptation-friendly story, what with the decent length and the high seas adventurin' and whatnot, and I really want to see this series pull itself back up to the level of the first movie.

Last Battle, the most important chance to either condemn or redeem Susan as a female character, is probably not going to pick the right option. God damn it.

P.S. EDDIE IZZARD AS REEPICHEEP THE SWASHBUCKLING MOUSE.

Check out Erin's journal first for her very, very short and very, very perfect review of the Burton adaptation.

If you'd like to learn more, or just have an appetite for incoherently expressed anger and excessive profanity, by all means read on.

Okay, I did enjoy some parts of this movie. Burton continues to rock his gothic mis-en-scene to good effect. Sacha Baron Cohen was a bit of really inspired lunatic casting. Singing ability aside, Johnny Depp and Helena Bonham Carter were great together and great with their characters. If they could sing, they'd have been perfect choices. Ditto Alan Rickman.

If they could sing. I basically could have forgiven this movie almost all of its sins if anyone in it could sing.

Burton, we all know you and Johnny Depp are BFF. Totally BFF. But one of the lessons in Directing 101 is "Your friend needs more qualifications for the part than being your friend".

This also relates to the very first lesson of Directing Musicals 101: "Musicals have music in them. Your cast should be able to sing the music that makes it a musical".

Johnny Depp would be great for his role, except that he cannot fucking sing. He sounds like he has something unpleasant and possibly alive caught in his throat.

Helena Bonham Carter would be great for her role, except that she cannot fucking sing. Her performance is basically a cracked, strangled series of failed high notes.

Alan Rickman would be great for his role, except that he cannot fucking sing. (He does manage the best of anyone despite this, since Judge Turpin has a very narrow range of notes.)

Congratulations on your wonderful cast that can't fucking sing!

Anthony Stewart Head, who has a gorgeous voice, has a one-line spoken cameo, and the best vocal performance comes from a small boy playing a role intended for an adult man. That's fantastic.

That is my main complaint and the one that really kills this movie. I am now going under a cut with my other various complaints, mostly pertaining to the theatre-to-film slaughter. Expecting one, maybe two people to bother reading it, either out of a similar film/theatre obsession or a similar terminal amount of free time.

( A funland of vitriol and spoilers! )

If you haven't seen the movie yet, please do yourself the favor of listening to a Broadway version at some point. The 2005 revival is a great one.

Spent nearly a solid week in human company *and* survived/enjoyed it? Damn, my medication really is working.

I saw Annie in person for the first time since I was a kid, and it was great.

Erin made a good point- "No wonder we were friends. We've got all the same neuroses. We grew up together thinking we were all normal."

I rode back to Mt. P. with Annie and her husband Ryan (who also seems pretty cool), and met Momo The Famous Internet Cat. He would not give me an autograph, but did leave a lot of cat hair on my shirt. I'm plucking them off to sell on eBay.

The plan was to spend a night at their place, have a pizza and watch some DVDs, play Cooking Mama. We got partway through that plan when an evil death sickness swooped down on Annie like a vulture. A really sick vulture. So I ended up at Taylor's a night early.

YES, I finally got to go see Taylor, and it only took us a COUPLE MOTHERFUCKING YEARS to get around to it. We suck.

It was so great to see him, though. So much catching up about weird shit and reminiscing about weird shit at Alma to do. So much talking, so much smoking, my poor throat.

It came up at least three or four times how much he's calmed the fuck down, and how he pretty much needed to, to still be alive now. No more eating glass.

It was also good to meet Kristin, and I definitely approve of her. Which is good, because otherwise we would have had to fight with knives. Even if I hadn't approved of her, she brought me pie, and that'll pretty much win my loyalty to anyone.

Watched a bunch of movies, of course. Deathwatch, Marebito, Save the Green Planet, I Stand Alone. Gaspar Noe is fucking brilliant, but I'm not sure I could ever subject myself to one of his masterpieces a second time. FeiFei undoubtedly could. Watched Santa's Slay, but I'm not going to talk about that movie. It has eaten too much of my precious lifetime already.

Taylor taught me the basics of speed chess aka blitz chess aka crazy person ADD chess (the last title being mine), and I was surprised to find myself really enjoying it. Patience and foresight are pretty much nonexistent in my personality, so I've never liked regular chess, but this was really different. Well, except in one respect.

Me: Neigh! Neigh!

Taylor: Why does this always happen? Why is everyone who's not into chess feel drawn right to the knights, every time?

Me: In a sea of strange and unfamiliar pieces, the pony is comfortingly recognizable.

Taylor: ...probably.

Me: Neeeeigh!

Ummm, what else. Sat in one of those all-night diners while Taylor listed famous philosophers and what they smelled like. Rubbed dongs and cried. Bunch of other stuff. Yeah. But that's what comes to mind right now.

Q: Why is 98% my unlucky number for large files?

A: Because it's so fucking close.

98%. Almost there. After days of downloading, allllmoooost theeeere.

Yup, almost there, time to slow down to a half of a third of a kb speed! Ha ha!

Blargh.

ETA: Lucky Sky Diamond is not technically part of the Guinea Pig series. But at this point it's been included in the series, mistakenly or no, for so long that it really is necessary to complete the collection. </nitpick>