In Coffee Spoons

GIMME THAT CHRISTIAN SIDE HUG

THAT CHRISTIAN SIDE HUG

Probably the only place to hear the line "I'm a rough rider/filled up with Christ's love" and definitely the only place to hear a rapper admonish you about being inappropriate.

You guys do realize that at this point you are parodying yourselves, right?

(via shoesonwrong)

Erin and I showed this to Mom the other night and said "This makes us think of you."



Since the conversation about the Sarah Palin bumper sticker on Dad's truck, Mom's been singing it and whacking her forehead.

Typos.

TYPOS.

Oh wait, typos in my favour.

I've emailed her regarding the ones that have actually affected my grade. I refrained from pointing out how many times our textbook stresses the importance of accuracy.

Because, you know, it's only medical data entry.

It's not like what goes in a patient's health records has to be exact.

Not at all.

* Health Software Systems

* Medical Transcription

* Keyboarding

* Moar English Comp.

Someone please explain to me why Keyboarding is not a prerequisite for the two above it.

"The thing about computers is they're really technical." --My Software Systems professor. Oh good lord.

*folding laundry*

I'm thirsty.

*goes downstairs to get a pop*

*gets halfway to fridge*

Oh, I wonder if that other load of laundry is done.

*checks on dryer*

Did that movie finish on Tivo?

*checks Tivo*

*plays with cat*

*checks email*

*waters plant*

*goes back to folding laundry*

...I'm thirsty.

Me: Question one. The percutaneous transluminal--

Christian Bale: WALKING AROUND LIKE AH DAT DA DA DA DA

Me: Shhh, Mr. Bale, I'm taking a test. The percutaneous translu--

Christian Bale: OOOOOH GOOOOOOOD

Me: Not now, Mr. Bale! I am taking a test!

Christian Bale: DO YOU WANT ME TO GO TRASH YOUR FUCKING LIGHTS?

Me: Shut up!

Christian Bale: SHUT UP FOR A FUCKING SECOND ALREADY!

Me: CHRISTIAN BALE YOU STOP THIS RIGHT NOW I AM TAKING A FUCKING TEST.

Christian Bale: ...

Me: ...

Christian Bale: ...

Me: The percutaneous trans--

Christian Bale: SANTA FEEEEEEEEEEE

Me: *headdesk*



P.S. Passed the test.

"Eh."

Professor: So if an autotransfusion uses your own blood, then a homotransfusion would use...?"

Classmate: Blood from another species!

Rest of class: ...

Professor: Um. If we did that, which we never ever do, it would be called a xenotransfusion, which we would never ever do.

The best thing was how confidently that girl's hand shot up in the air. She knew she had this one.

English Comp I w/Writing Lab

What the hell why am I in this course. I wasn't able to test out of it, but was at least able to talk the advisor people out of putting me in College Reading I.

Me: I've taken advanced literature courses here.

Advisor: I see that in your records, but without the prerequisites I don't know h--

Me: I was an editorial assistant at the literary journal here.

Advisor: I see that in your records, but you aren't sup-

Other Advisor: Are you having trouble finding the code to override prerequisites? Cause it's this one. Right here. *click*

Intro to Computers

What why the hell am I in this course. Not only am I in it, but the online course filled up really quickly and so I'm stuck taking the in-person classroom version where the professor spends three hours talking about how to use Windows Vista and I spend three hours improving my chess game on Facebook. Things we covered in the first class:

• Starting your computer
  
• Logging on with your student ID
  
• Opening and navigating Blackboard
  
• Buying and using a USB drive
  
• Better control of the center by bringing bishops into play earlier
  

Intro to Health Software Systems

Exercept from syllabus course objectives:


Perform data quality analysis of the HI database
Understand statistical analysis of patient information and compute them
List and implement the elements of the UHD Data Set
Organize data elements in an MP Data Index


I am enrolled in this and in Intro to Computers simultaneously. Seriously.

Medical Terminology

This one is actually interesting in that "I am a tremendous nerd" kind of way; it's about memorizing roots, prefixes, and suffixes to translate individual terms. Yeah, I really am a nerd.

And as I mentioned on Facebook, I already know a ridiculous amount of this stuff thanks to television. (Actually, for all its raging inaccuracy, House is a good show if you just need hunks of medical jargon to translate for practice.


Since the majority of these are online and two of them are like the college equivalent of macaroni art, I want to try and add another course. There might be room in Accounting With Quickbooks, aka Spreadsheets Motherfucker.

Seiran: Oh, what would I give to be wrong about human nature.
Seiran: I think that was the title of my thesis.
ccchuck: i only wore panrties casue they made me
Seiran: No, wait, *that* was the title of my thesis.


Llwyd: fuck YOU all
Llwyd: fuckers
Seiran: Lwyd, I think we should talk about your issues. Let's form a circle. Feel free to cry.
Llwyd: seiran, i will slap you to death with my moobs
Seiran: That is the best threat I have ever received.


jayegoodman@verizon.net: whats up
Seiran: My meds quit working and David Lynch says I'm a dream! How are you?


findingxhope: smart is fucking great.
seiran_o19o: It is.
findingxhope: it is, sometimes, our only isle of solace
findingxhope: in a sea of mediocrity, cruelty, and other humans.
seiran_o19o: This is what teaching will do to you.

I miss her.

WHY why do I do this every single fucking morning

and go out the door and say hmmmm it's cold I should go back and put some leggings on under my jeans and then I say oh it's not that cold I'll be fine

and then I get back and my legs are freezing and then the goosebumps and the redness every single fucking time and the itching like mad and the scratching and the itching

every FUCKING morning you STUPID motherFUCKER

Shut up. About. Your damn. Kids.

Every single one of the twelve of you, shut up shut up shut up.

Post something, anything, fucking anything that is not about your kids. Just once.

There is a thread on our discussion board for chattering about every family anecdote ever. Use it. Keep every family anecdote ever off the fucking seminar discussion board where I am obligated to read every single post.

Isn't it amazing that so many of your kids have ADHD and isn't that some kind of psychology thing and doesn't your toddler come up with the most precious insights and doesn't that just say so much about early development and isn't behavior modification like rewarding kids for doing chores shut UP.

Can you seriously not discuss any topic except via your children? Has motherhood seriously narrowed your worldview so much that you can only relate to anything through that lens? Is a subject this fucking fascinating irrelevant to you if it doesn't filter through that lens?

No, don't answer those questions. Don't. Just shut up.

For those of you who haven't been watching the Sarah Palin interviews, here's a summary:

[15:13] seiran: I totally could not play that game at all. I have all the stealth and finesse of a brick thrown by a drunken soccer hooligan. (Regarding MGS)

-----

[12:31] sunilprince0090: hi
[12:31] *** Auto-response sent to sunilprince0090: BLARGH I AM DEAD
[12:31] sunilprince0090: how are you
[12:31] sunilprince0090: ok
[12:31] sunilprince0090: so?

-----

seiran_o19o: I asked him if he ever actually tried to pleasure a woman with that pixy stick, and he quit talking to me.
thedirge42: Nice.
seiran_o19o: But it was a serious question!

-----

[06:43] incite_the_senses: You must really like men who are into Duran Duran.
[06:44] seiran_o19o: Or maybe I consider them some kind of sociological curiosity.
[06:44] incite_the_senses: Or...you really like them.
[06:45] seiran_o19o: I think I'll maintain an air of mystery regarding this. Because it's really the only thing terribly mysterious.

-----

[15:26] anniewuffles: Your verb modification makes the pain even more real
[15:26] seiran_o19o: That is so often my cross to bear.

-----

[23:19] Seiran79: I think it's interesting from a sociological standpoint to see a culture whose sexuality is rooted entirely in fictional expressions and not real people.
[23:19] Seiran79: I should get a research grant.
[23:19] delcat42: real people are ICKY.
[23:20] Seiran79: ...I should get a research grant.

-----

[22:00] Seiran79: I don't think you can be sued for any crimes taking place on rollerskates. I think it's a whimsy clause.

Guy on the bus: How long you been drivin' buses?

Driver: 30 percent of a century!

Guy: So...three years?

Driver: ...

(later on in the conversation)

Guy: So they closed cause they couldn't compete with Starbucks, and now all the damn Starbucks is closin'!

Driver: That's what we call "the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune".

Guy: Huh?

Driver: Shakespeare.

Guy: Oh, that guy! Yeah...*thoughtful* That guy got a good line or two, didn't he?